How Thick Can You GET!
by ValkyrieVeela
Summary: Freya is released from the Lake of Avalon a few days after the Series 2 finale (The Last Dragonlord). She comes back to Camelot and marries Merlin, but will Arthur ever notice without them just telling him?


**A/N: This is a oneshot I just found on my computer that I liked. The dates and ages are sort of guessed but it doesn't matter too much for this story. All the bold speech is when the triplets speak at the same time. Yes, this is another 'everyone has kids and lives a happy life post Series 5' fics. I say _another_; the other fic I published where somebody had kids was pretty miserable, but I have plenty more 'happily ever after' fics up my sleeve!**

* * *

"Freya! You're alive! Wait – what about the curse?"

"The Sidhe Elders gave me a pardon – they lifted the curse!"

"Freya?"

"Merlin?"

"Will you marry me?"

"Yes!"

* * *

"I'm sorry again about-"

"It's okay Gaius. We forgave you long ago. You were just doing your duty after all."

"Thank you my boy."

"I'm so happy – my little Merlin, married! And to a fine young lady too if I may say so!"

"Thank you Hunith. We wouldn't have gone through with the wedding without your blessing and your presence."

* * *

"Morning, love."

"Good morning, Merlin."

"Today is your first afternoon working in the kitchens now, isn't it?"

"Yes. Gaius probably won't miss me. Should I say I'm your wife? Do your friends know about me?"

"Well, I haven't had time to tell them. I think if they ask you ought to tell them – especially Sir Gwaine, you must make sure he knows who your husband is. I don't think he'll back off immediately if you just say you're married."

"MERLIN!"

"That'll be-"

"The Prince? Should he not know to leave the newlyweds for a few minutes?"

"We have about ten before he comes running."

* * *

"MER- Sorry, who are you? Have you seen Merlin?"

"I'm Freya. I assist Gaius in the mornings and I work in the kitchens most afternoons. I believe you sent Merlin to polish your armour two hours ago, Sire."

"Thank you, Freya."

* * *

"You didn't tell him?"

"I want to see how long it takes."

* * *

"ARGH!"

"Sh, Freya love, it'll be okay-"

"With all due respect, _Lord Emrys_, you're not the one popping out a BLOODY BABY!"

* * *

"He _still_ hasn't twigged?"

"Nope."

"Damn."

"What?"

"That stupid bet, I-"

"Bet? What bet?"

" . . . Nothing."

* * *

"MER- oh, hello, Freya."

"Sire."

"Have you seen-?"

"The armoury."

"Who are the little ones?"

"Leola, Arnaude and little Ulrica. They're triplets – like the Triple Goddess. I think they'll go on to do great things one day, if their father is anything to go by."

"And who is their father?"

"Oh . . . a good man." There was a pause.

"Would this 'good man' happen to be known to me?"

" . . . I really couldn't say."

* * *

"What shall we call this one?"

"Balinor?"

"You are _so_ linear Merlin."

* * *

"MER-"

"Armoury."

"Right, sorry ma'am. And this strapping young lad's name?"

"Oh . . . We just call him Bali."

"Billy?"

"Bali. It's not a common name."

"Huh."

* * *

"How long?"

"Must be . . . Well, let's see; we've the triplets, Balinor, Katrina and William . . . I think it must be eight years now."

"Drat."

"What?"

"Gwaine's still in. Well, he's not getting his grubby paws on _my_ gold – we'll have to think of a name to feed the King if he asks after my husband again."

" . . ."

* * *

"Hello, Freya."

"Sire."

"How're the kids?"

"They're fine – they usually play with your children, actually. Apparently young Elyan has her sights set on your crown, Sire – according to the triplets she has no intention of letting the boys within sniffing distance."

"Really? Surely she knows that the people will never accept a Queen whilst there are male heirs, younger or not?"

"If nothing else, you can blame yourself for allowing the Queen to name her after a man in the first place, Sire."

"Ah – erm – fair point, I'll give you that. But I don't believe that the people are quite ready for a lone Queen, after . . ."

"She's only three years old – she is such a lovely girl already, I have no doubt that the people would readily accept her as their sovereign should the time come."

"Do you really believe that she would be respected as a single, female monarch? Even respected as an heir by her siblings?"

"Her brothers will have to learn to respect her for her age regardless. I know how much my sons look up to the triplets, and how much Will adores Kitty. I should like to see your boys grow to love their Ellie in the same way, and I hope that you will see your daughter is as much of a leader as Tom and Tristan."

" . . . Thank you, Freya. You know, that sounds just like something Merlin would say. I'll still ask him for his opinion though – and Guinevere'll want her input – thank you."

* * *

"This is what, Year _Twelve_ now?"

"Yes – I honestly thought he'd twig after he made me Court Warlock, but _really_-"

"**Father**."

"Yes, my lovelies?"

"**We think this year we should tell the King about who we are."**

"Do you now? Or is this just one of Eaglet's peacemaking ideas again?" the girls glanced at each other. "Lioness, you _love_ pranking – and you, Littlewolf, I remember a time when you could laugh at the Ignorance Complex for weeks on end at the very mention of it. So. What's changed?"

"Wait – you'll be twelve in a few months, girls. Is this about the next feast or something? You want to introduce yourselves as the Court Warlock's daughters at your debut ball?"

"**Yes Mother – that's just exactly it**."

Merlin was confused. "Well – of course you can. You've always had the right to."

"Well-"

"_Yeah_-"

"But we're never allowed to say to the King; - " The warlock listened carefully, then laughed. "Very well, you may tell him – but only if you use those _exact_ words. That is the single best way to pull off a twelve-year-running prank. I guess the wording is Ula's?"

"**Yeah**. But the idea of the big reveal was Leola's."

"Ha – gracious of you, Ula, I'm sure, but as I think you'll remember that the idea of just telling the King was Arnie's from day one."

"And to be perfectly accurate, by the time we reveal all it'll've been thirteen years of pranking nine months past the day."

"**Just so we're clear on that**."

* * *

"**Sire**."

"Oh, hel_lo_ – you're Mistress Freya's daughters, aren't you?"

"**We are, Sire. This is our debut ball**."

"Congratulations. It will be another four years till my Ellie will be old enough, though I'm sure you know that already. You have a brother three years her senior, is that correct?"

"**We do, Sire. William**."

"And how is he doing? Your other siblings too?"

"**Balinor, Katrina and William are all fine, Sire. We'd ask after Elyan, Thomas and Tristan but we saw them this morning when Mother was working with our Uncle Gaius**."

"And how is your mother?"

"**She's fine. She works as a full-time apprentice for Gaius now that she has no babies to look after and Father is bringing in more money than we need**."

"Ah. And – you must forgive me for not asking in all these years – who exactly _is_ your father?

The sisters looked at each other and grinned. "**Our father, Sire? That would be Merlin Emrys, Court Warlock. I believe you know him**?"

* * *

**Aw - sometimes you just can't resist showing up his Royal Pratness. R & R please!**


End file.
